*Ben S. checking in.
Several members of the SMST2 Team and I are currently in Hancock, Michigan as we prepare to begin the 2020 US Cross Country Ski Championships. For those of you who have never been to the Upper Peninsula of Michigan (more commonly known as the UP) it is a delightful tract of land stretching out into Lake Superior filled with wonderful, and unique citizens. It is worth noting that the only thing more unique than these citizens is their vocabulary. Over dinner with our host family the other night I was particularly puzzled when I heard REDACTED and REDACTED reminisce about the time their son was arrested for “whipping sh*tties in the bunner lot.” It was at this point I decided that I had to learn everything I could. I set out on a quest to find the most grizzled locals (also known as Yoopers) I could and, with their permission, have transcribed this new knowledge here for all to see. Please enjoy.
THE DEFINITIVE YOOPER DICTIONARY
God’s Country (n.) – The Upper Peninsula of Michigan, WHICH for the record is not a part of Wisconsin.
Yooper Loop (n.) – A singularly unique arrangement of asphalt at the interchange of US-41 and MI-26 that stands in defiance of logic, God, and safe-driving protocols (pictured above).
pasty (n.) – A cornish miners meal, akin to shoving part of an animal and most of a garden into a pastry. It must be eaten with ketchup, and never gravy.
panking (v.) – The act of pressing down snow, which is the only option you have left when the drifts rise above shoulder level.
Gitchi Gumee (n.) – The largest body of fresh-water in the world. Also known as Lake Superior.
toque (n.) – A hat which here, for some reason, is pronounced “Chook”
yooper slipper (n.) – Fur lined boots used for panking.
troll (n.) – Anyone who lives south of the Mackinac bridge
busche latte (n.) – A watery concoction which is consumed most often by local college students (see also: beer).
sawna beer (n.) – The same thing as a shower beer except you take it in the sauna.
yooper challenge (n.) – The act of consuming a Miller High Life, a shot of blackberry whiskey, and a pickled egg in as little time as possible.
yooper scooper (n.) – An extra large shovel specially designed for lake effect snow. It is also big enough to bring your husband home in after he completes the Yooper Challenge.
Lake Effect (n.) – A reference to the cold air that circulates above Gitchi Gumee, it is the governing dynamic of all weather in the UP.
percent of snow (n.) – In most places this refers to the chance that it will snow on any given day. In the UP it refers to the percentage of any 24 hour period it will be snowing. In St. Paul a 50% chance of snow means you’ve got a 50/50 shot of getting home without any trouble. In the UP a 50% chance of snow means it will be snowing 50% of the day.
Widow’s Weekend (n.) – The weekend of November 15th when every male resident in the UP disappears into the woods and tries to kill a deer (see also: opening day).
camp (n.) – A cottage or cabin (Used most frequently on Widow’s Weekend).
board meeting (v.) – Drinking every beer on offer at the KBC (Keewanaw Brewing Company).
Deer Skull Boiling (n.) – A popular local establishment with an infamous sign, which does exactly what you think it’s going to do.
trenary toast (n.) – A crunchy local delicacy which consists of a piece of cardboard lightly dusted with cinnamon.
whipping sh*tties (v.) – The highly technical act of intentionally testing your car’s traction in winter conditions (See also: doing donuts).
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